As young people we are still developing our sense of self and therefore unsure about our own self. We need more acceptance and forgiveness as we engage in trial and error with identity development. The world is not as clear as the years of experience and wisdom provides us. We do not have the benefit of hindsight and we struggle to trust the experience of those older than us as we have seen that many people often have ulterior motives in almost everything they do, say and share.
We want to be good people. We want to gain wisdom and insight. We first must make sense of where we are with what we know. We want to balance good choices that will benefit us and our future but we also do not want life to slip by us. We hear adults so often say “time flies” and “just wait until real life starts”. How do you enjoy what you have and where you are as well as be responsible for developing a good sense of self.
Then we have families of our own….
Raising our kids we want to shield them from the struggles we experienced. We want to provide a smoother path with less heartbreak and strife. We have experienced some crazy shit and we do not want our children to fall into the same pits. We have never felt love in the way we have experienced it now. Looking at this little life we had a hand in creating be it in the womb, and sometimes only in our home and heart. We think back to all of the things that did not go the way we wanted or needed and we want to use our wisdom for good.
We set expectations (that is what our parents did) and we follow through. We say “This hurts me more than it hurts you” because we really believe that. Making the hard choices and doing the hard things. That is what we find is the life as a parent. All for the greater good. The betterment of our kids and their life. We failed so much in our own life and we are hellbent to get it right this time around for our kids.
But they want to develop their own self...the way we did. Pitfalls and all.